After a while - Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

Published in: on May 6, 2007 at 12:14 pm Comments (7)

Tomorrow

Darwish once said: 

نحب الحياة غدا

عندما يصل الغد سوف

 نحب الحياه كما هي،

 عادية ماكره

 رمادية أو ملونة.. 

So “tomorrow”,

Listen up.  You  have been quite disappointing lately, and am striving hard to keep the faith.  Am no quitter and you know me, am not gonna give up on you but enough is enough, am serious. 

You’d better start bringing me more good news, no disappointments for at least 60 consecutive days, and more good people in my way…eshta!!

Published in: on March 4, 2007 at 12:08 pm Comments Off

A new day/era in the happy valley

El title metaphoric awi ;)

إيديا في جيوبي وقلبي طــــــــرب

سارح في غربة بس مش مغترب

و حدي لكين ونسان و ماشي كده

وبابتعد ما اعرف .. أو باقـــــترب 

What a beautiful start for the day, Mounir’s voice along with Salah Jahin’s stupendous words. I had one of those (consciously) long enjoyable rides to work, I went out 5 minutes earlier than I should so I can enjoy a peaceful ride…My play list was set on Monir’s songs..and they were actually the ones that I haven’t listened to for a long time…fa I was singing along enjoying the music and celebrating a brand new day/era until un….un…….uuuuuuuuuuuun, I noticed that someone in a white Honda Civic is following me.   

At the beginning I thought eno 3adi…this is the Auto-Strad come on…people have to go this way…mafish options ya3ni…then I noticed that my stalker (usually you don’t call people stalkers unless they  really stalk you J, bas let’s call him a stalker 3ashan el bo3d el drami wel suspense) is keeping his distance keda and he is really following me, tab eih ba2a?? I tricked him and gave a right signal keda as if am gonna turn right fa he was about to turn right then he realized 3ala akher la7za that I won’t turn right.   Anywayz, I reached my work (the area I work in is quite mazy keda), fa I thought he will probably get lost or something..bardo ma7asalsh.

I had to park @ the company’s parking lot which means that I lost all my chances of having lunch outside the bldg, coz usually when we park there it is more of “forget about your car khales till 17:10”…it is practically “3elbet sardine ya m3allem” as D puts it.  I noticed my stalker parked in front of the parking lot and was getting out of the car bas I pretended that he is not there aslan and got to the bldg.

I hate my stalker for a) he screwed up the last 15 minutes in my pleasant ride, b) I will never ever forgive him for this..am stuck here for lunch L.   

And the winner is:

Needles to say that I didn’t miss the  Oscar extravaganza or any related show with all the gossip and saucy details, (oh my..I gotta cut off on this) I wonder if I ever mentioned that am a reality TV freak!! Mmmm…this is a totally different subject and needs a post on its own.  I personally found Ellen DeGeneres HILLARIOUS, Helen Mirren’s – The Queen- award is well deserved.  The 61 years old actress looked extremely vivid and more stunning than Nicole Kidman in her TOO red dress. In an interview keda Mark Antony mentioned that he came to the party as J.Lo’s Purse!!!  If I ever had a husband and discovered that he plays a purse in his leisure time..I will shoot myslef in the head. Would have loved to see the girl from “little miss sunshine” going home with an award bardo..  

In a totally separate Note:

Next Saturday isa, I will interview one of my very favourite Egyptian writers, I love reading this guy, however, I disagree with him in a few things.  I am so excited about this meeting and so looking forward to it.

 

 

An Ancient Egyptian Prayer (The Map of Love):

May you enter favored, and leave beloved.

Published in: on February 28, 2007 at 12:00 pm Comments (7)

From: If you forget me by Pablo Neruda

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

I am speechless after Neruda’s verses…el ragel da beysabetni :)

 

Emotional State:

I know the protected post aroused your curiousity awi, but it is nothing of any importance to anyone except myself, it is my break up chronicles, It is a one post kind of thing and I update it keda whenever I feel like and have something to add, I tend to document such moments, just to make sure where I stand and kaman to release the negative energy obtained from the situation. 

Anywayz, we are done, and it was ugly…I didn’t want this, and just wanted to keep the good memories…However, he considered me a “MISTAKE”..fa I was forced to press delete.

 

Work Related:

My new boss is really awesome, a heck of a sharp guy, someone you enjoy working with..he tackles your brain cells keda…fa am glad eno finally am enjoying coming to work every morning.

 

Reminder:

Tomorow Eskendrella’s Concert @ the Cutlure Wheel, 8:00 pm.

Published in: on February 20, 2007 at 10:59 am Comments (4)

Pandora’s Box; Curiosity killed the cat

In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman, fashioned by Zeus as part of his punishment to mankind after Prometheus set forth to steal fire from him and handed it over to man. Zeus was enraged and decided to punish Prometheus and his creation “mankind”.

To punish Prometheus, Zeus chained him and set a vulture over him to eat his liver each day. But he was immortal, eventually the liver grew back every day, but he was still he was daily tormented.

Zeus was angry with mankind, therefore he planed the worst punishment he could think of: He ordered the other gods to make “all gifted” Pandora as a poisoned gift for man. Then invented Hephaestus, who molded Pandora out of clay, she gave her the form and made her irresistibly beautiful. Pandora was also given several traits from different gods: Beauty from Aphrodite, musical talent and healing from Apollo, and of course Hephasestus gave her the form; that’s why she was called “all gifted”.

Hesiod said on the creation of Pandora
“The crippled artist-god,Illustrious, moulded from the yielding clayA bashful virgin’s image, as advis’dSaturnian Jove”
“But now when the fair mischief, seeming-good,His hand had perfected, he led her forthExulting in her grac’d attire, the giftOf Pallas, in the midst of gods and men.On men and gods in that same moment seiz’dThe ravishment of wonder, when they sawThe deep deceit, th’ inextricable snare.”

Hermes then gave Pandora a box, telling her to keep it safely but never think of opening it until then. Before being chained to the rock, Prometheus warned Epimetheus “his brother” not to take any gifts from the gods. But he didn’t listen, however, and when Pandora arrived, he fell in love with her. Hermes told him that Pandora was a gift to the titan from Zeus, and he warned Epimetheus not open the box. “Sometimes the box was referred to as a jar or a chest”. Epimetheus accepted the maiden from Hermes and led her into his house with her box which the gods had sent with her as her dowry.

Epimetheus told Pandora never to open the box she had received from Zeus. But one day, curiosity compelled her to open it, releasing all the misfortunes of mankind “plague, sorrow, poverty, crime, etc.”

She shut it in time to keep one thing in the box: Hope. The world remained extremely miserable for an unspecified period. Pandora then had the chance to revisit the box, and Hope flapped out.

Here is one of the most fascinating poems by Lord Byron; illustrating Prometheus downfall;

Thy Godlike crime was to be kind,
To render with thy precepts less
The sum of human wretchedness,
And strengthen Man with his own mind;
But baffled as thou wert from high,
Still in thy patient energy,
In the endurance, and repulse
Of thine impenetrable Spirit,
Which Earth and Heaven could not convulse,
A mighty lesson we inherit:
Thou art a symbol and a sign
To Mortals of their fate and force;
Like thee, Man is in part divine,
A troubled stream from a pure source;
And Man in portions can foresee
His own funereal destiny;
His wretchedness, and his resistance,
And his sad unallied existence:
To which his Spirit may oppose
Itself — and equal to all woes,
And a firm will, and a deep sense,
Which even in torture can descry
Its own concenter’d recompense,
Triumphant where it dares defy,
And making Death a Victory..”

Published in: on December 6, 2005 at 3:39 pm Comments (9)

Lost in Time


These haunted dreams
Are brushed aside
We’ll meet again
Another lifeI tried to say
I miss you tonight
And they claim you’ve already died
But the truth is that we’re lost in time
We’re lost in time


Lyrics: Stellastarr
Photo: Myself

Published in: on November 29, 2005 at 2:30 pm Comments (5)

Aurora…legends, Mythology, and Art

Aurora or Northern Lights
In Alaska, Canada, Northern Europe, and other places close to the North Pole the night brings a wavy curtain of green, blue, red and other colored lights stretching across the sky. As evening passes to midnight and on to dawn, the folds of the curtain make fantastic decorations over the heavens, forming arcs, rays, and wreaths.

Legends!!
These are some of the many legends concerning Aurora, which still exist in various parts of the world:
- Ancient peoples of Alaska, Canada, and Greenland believe that the Aurora is the fire of torches lighting the way to heaven for the spirits of the dead. The beautiful pink rays, which sometimes appear, are thought to be the color of blood shed in the struggles between the spirits.

- In Japan, an entry in the ancient Nihon Shoki “Chronicles of Japan is an epical monument of Japanese literature, a cycle of myths and historical legends written in 720A.D.” is thought to refer to the aurora.

- In China many sketches resembling the aurora remain. The dark red aurora was considered to be an omen of ill fortune.

In Roman Mythology
Eos, Goddess of the dawn, was known as Aurora and was the sister of Helios, the Sun. Every morning she would rise from her bed and drive Helios into the sky. Four of her sons are the four winds (north, south, east, and west). According to one myth, her tears cause the dew as she flies across the sky weeping for one of her sons, who was killed by Achilles during the Trojan war. Among the handsome young men whom she carried off as lovers were Orion and Tithonus. Eos asked Zeus to give Tithonus immortality but forgot to include ?everlasting youth? with her request.

In Greek Mythology
She is Eos Goddess of the dawn, the daughter of the Hyperion and Theia and the sister of Helios (sun) and Selene (moon). She was the mother of the four winds: Boreas, Eurus, Zephyrus, and Notus; and also of Heosphorus and the Stars. She was depicted as a goddess whose rosy fingers opened the gates of heaven to the chariot of the Sun. Her legend consists almost entirely of her intrigues. She first slept with Ares; this earned her the wrath of Aphrodite who punished her by changing her into a nymph.

In Art and Literature
- In the 17th century Aurora the goddess of dawn became a popular figure in Baroque decorations, where she appeared in a chariot driven by the winged horse Pegasus. She often spread flowers while passing by.

- Shakespeare referred to her in his famous play Romeo and Juliet

- Giuseppe Ungaretti, once wrote this epic verse: “Aurora, of the rosy fingers?”. This he recited at the start of a movie on the Homer poem “The Odyssey”. Heard this verse and was touched by its descriptive image and immediately saw in his own mind this mythological figure crossing in the sky at dawn.
In October 1994 he started to work on Aurora. His initial difficulty was to avoid the figure becoming too heavy and massive. He avoided this by giving to the piece an incline that creates an ethereal perspective and weightless atmosphere. He also used a two wheeled chariot instead of a four wheeled one, as more commonly represented in the past.

Finally here is a poem “Goddess of The Dawn” From Aurora Threat’s Behind the Line

As fascinating as the northern lights
To which many are drawn
Luminous in the nights
The Goddess of the dawn
It took some years
For me to understand
The many spears
I’ve had to withstand
I am like the borealis
A beautiful arch of light
While my address is not a palace
I am rich in delight
I am like the sunlit sky
Upon my face a bright smile
Radiant, without a try
Unique, savvy and not hostile
Like a clothing brand name
You try to give me a tag
To lower my head in shame
With gossip and gag
But I am like a twinkling star
When you raise your eyes above
You’ll see me dazzling from afar
Sparkling and overflowing with love

Published in: on November 24, 2005 at 2:56 pm Comments (5)

Moods - Sarah Teasdale

I am the still rain falling,
Too tired for singing mirth –
Oh, be the green fields calling,
Oh, be for me the earth!

I am the brown bird pining
To leave the nest and fly –
Oh, be the fresh cloud shining,
Oh, be for me the sky!

Published in: on November 14, 2005 at 3:52 pm Comments (2)

About Helen of Troy

Since we are talking favourite characters, thought I would talk about one from Greek Mythology, a female figure that I like, and find very interesting. Well, to be honest, you really cannot see any good portion of character development. The larger story is literally involved with the rise and fall of people around her. She even displayed very little emotions and was sort of unaffected by the war outcome. Still I like her :)

Helen of Troy, or Helen or Sparta, one of the most controversial female characters in literature, has been the literary and mythic symbol of beauty and illicit love. She was the most beautiful woman in Greece best known for being the cause of the Trojan War. A wholewar which lasted for ten years.

Helen, was flesh and blood certainly, but she was also immortal, since her father was none other than Zeus. Her mother was the beautiful Leda, queen of Sparta, who was ravished by the father of the gods in the form of a swan. Leda’s husband was Tyndareus, who later the same night, unaware of his feathered predecessor, also impregnated his wife. She produced two eggs, one of which yielded Helen and Polydeuces and the other of which contained Castor andClytemnestra.

Helen was a beauty as a child; therefore, Theseus kidnapped her, so that she would be his wife one day. Her twin brothers came to her rescue and brought her back to their mother. When it was time for Helen to marry, many Greek kings and princes came to seek her hand or sent emissaries to do so on their behalf. Among the candidates were Odysseus, Menestheus, and Patroclus, but the favorite was Menelaus who did not come in person but was represented by his brother Agamemnon. All but Odysseus brought many and rich gifts with them. Tyndareus would accept none of the gifts, nor would he send any of the suitors away for fear of offending them and giving grounds for a quarrel. Odysseus promised to solve theproblem in a satisfactory manner if Tyndareus would support him in his courting of Penelope, the daughter of Icarius. Tyndareus readily agreed and Odysseus proposed, before the decision was made, all the suitors should swear a most solemn oath to defend the chosen husband against whoever should quarrel with him. Helen and Menelaus were married.

Following Tyndareus’ death, Menelaus became king of Sparta. Few years later, Paris, a Trojan prince came to Sparta to marry Helen, whom he had been promised by Aphrodite after he had chosen her as the most beautiful of the goddesses, earning the wrath of Athena andHera. Helen fell in love-as Aphrodite promised- and eloped with him, leaving behind Menelaus and Hermione “her daughter”. When Menelaus discovered that his wife was missing, he called upon all the other suitors to fulfill their oaths, thus beginning the Trojan War. Virtually all of Greece took part, either attacking Troy with Menelaus or defending it from them.

The more you read about Helen, the more conflict you feel towards her true nature…To some authors she is a muse, a female figure of anexceptional inspiration. To others she is a deceitful woman who is considered the sole cause of the death of thousands Greek and Trojanmen “…and excited the heart of Helen; maddened by the Trojan man, a traitorous guest, she followed him in a ship on the sea, leaving at home her child and her husband… The Trojan plain holds conquered because of that woman” Alkois here holds Helen responsiblefor the destruction of Troy.

Homer, one of the most celebrated authors of epic literature, has a more complex view of Helen’s character. His Iliad is full of negative references towards Helen from every character who mentions her name.

Here is one of my very favorite pieces, and I think the best written on her; Christopher Marlowe’s Helen in Dr. Faustus:
Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?
Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss.
Her lips suck forth my soul; see where it flies!
Come, Helen, come, give me my soul again.
Here I will dwell, for heaven be in these lips,
And all is dross that is not Helena.
I will be Paris, and for love of thee,
Instead of Troy, shall Wittenberg be sacked;
And I will combat with weak Menelaus,
And wear thy colors on my plumed crest;
Yea, I will wound Achilles in the heel,
And then return to Helen for a kiss.
Oh, thou art fairer than the evening air
Clad in the beauty of a thousand stars;
Brighter art thou than flaming Jupiter
When he appeared to hapless Semele;
More lovely than the monarch of the sky
In wanton Arethusa’s azured arms;
And known but thou shalt be my paramour!

Published in: on October 18, 2005 at 9:10 am Comments (3)

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
“”William Shakespeare”

IS LOVE A FANTASY OR A FEELING?

I

Published in: on September 1, 2005 at 8:43 pm Comments (3)

Chatt…a poem by Rita 3ouda


I dream to live

Live to Survive

Survive to be more humane

Be more humane for you to love me more

* A super expressive poem by Rita 3ouda….check the arabic version here…..it is even more beautiful.

Published in: on August 22, 2005 at 2:58 pm Comments (0)

Team Building ;))

By midday yesterday…we were kinda bored to death, fa Diaa proposed we go out for lunch, although it wasn’t lunch time at all, bas we were itching…me being a devoted and a caring employee, I suggested we call it a team building outing ;)) since ya3ni the 3 of us work for the same Mgmnt..different departments though…bas bardo team building at Fudds, makes a noticealbe change in employees relations ;))))

I used to be in a private office keda for a while….thought it is the coolest thing ever, and when we had this problem of finding places for other employees, I suggested my work area as it is huge “takes 3 workstations, only one was there”, although wasn’t so excited about it ya3ni…el howa, just trying to help, wento w zo2ko ba2a…right now I am really glad that I have people along in my office, especially they are very interesting and really fun to be with.

The car pool thing was a great failure…Lamia is pissed don’t know why!!!! she is not the type of a person who would come and say u did this or that!!! even if I asked what’s wrong she goes like nothing…am ok…fa I stopped asking. People should be more easy going, if there is something wrong, spit it out, and let others know…I really have no problem in saying sorry if i did something wrong, but I am not expected to go like wonder if you are ok or not?? or what’s up?? u know what I mean!!! This morning she was like, I think not willing aslan to say Good morning or keda…bas I started!!!

Now gotta go, but here is my little farewell from Louisa May Alcott’s “Fairy Song”

When next we meet in the Fairy dell,
May the silver moon’s soft light
Shine then on faces gay as now,
And Elfin hearts as light.
Now spread each wing, for the eastern sky
With sunlight soon will glow.
The morning star shall light us home:
Farewell! for the Elves must go :)))

Published in: on August 15, 2005 at 11:21 am Comments (1)

Buzzzzzz

In the green morning

I wanted to be a heart.

A heart.

And in the ripe evening

I wanted to be a nightingale.

A nightingale.
(Soul,turn orange-colored. Soul,turn the color of love.)
In the vivid morning

I wanted to be myself.

A heart.
And at the evening’s end

I wanted to be my voice.

A nightingale.
Soul, turn orange-colored.

Soul, turn the color of love. “Lorca”

I am so sleepy this morning, although I am sitting on my desk for more than 30 minutes now, but I can’t get myself to concentrate khales, plus I am ignoring my to do list BIG TIME, I can’t go on like this, I really need to get myself in the “u gotta get the work done” mood..Yuuuuuuuuuk. Am seriously thinking of a massage session after work, sounds pretty cool…ha. Well, here is a deal, I finish 2 assignments in my to do list, then I get my treat??? well, two!!! how come ya3ni, today we have this Goodbye party thing, which means will spend quite some time out of the office, come on be reasonable…ok, then one and “no discussion”…:)) will see :)))))))

I really hate when I write down numbers on my desk calendar and I turn out clueless about why, or when I’ve written them…and yeah nameless, which doesn’t make it any better. My eyes hurts awi, need to get the new contacts ba2a…maho either go blind or live with the gray ones, which is cool for sometime, but can’t do it on daily basis ya3ni, although it is hell funny, when I see this stupid confused look…el howa eih da?? we never noticed ur eyes…Gosh, it only requires some brains :)

The girls don’t like the car pool thing, and want to get back to Ehab’s car of wonders, I don’t feel like doing this, I feel more comfortable driving my own, or just be with them. I think will let them know eno am out ba2a. Walahi it was fun, aslan ya3ni we stop for coffee and sometimes breakfast, and yes we are usually late since we ever started our pool, bas what the heck??? we are seizing the moment ;)

Shaimaa called me last night, saying eno she is about to deliver her baby, fa get prepared ba2a ya Nerro, 3ashan when mom calls u know you gotta get the rest and come see the baby, I like our tradition with new babies and moms w kol 7aga, it is just I can’t see the point behind being there 4-8 hrs before labor…yeah, I mean she has to be there…why would we do this?? honestly, it is cool, but very exhausting, tense, and I don’t like to see babies 3ala tool ya3ni “they are freaky and a bit….” fa I told her, I will come see you next day sweety 3ashan u know me ba2a w keda, fa she went like…I will pretend u didn’t say anything “ya3ni heya gat 3alaya ana…maho u r doing it all the tiem” yeah…I used to, bas I had enough…u girls crashed my desire for being a mom…she laughed hillariously….wonder why??

I am dressed way against our dress code, as I know I don’t have meetings today…wish I can do that everyday…yeah VIOLATE the rules :))) it is an obsession.

Published in: on July 18, 2005 at 8:29 am Comments (0)

Gibran - On Self Knowledge

And a man said, ‘Speak to us of Self-Knowledge.

‘ And he answered, saying:

Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.

But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart’s knowledge.

You would know in words that which you have always know in thought.

You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.

And it is well you should.

The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea; And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.

But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure; And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.

For self is a sea boundless and measureless.

Say not, ‘I have found the truth,’ but rather, ‘I have found a truth.

‘ Say not, ‘I have found the path of the soul.’ Say rather, ‘I have met the soul walking upon my path.

For the soul walks upon all paths.

The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.

The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

“Khalil Gibran”

Published in: on June 27, 2005 at 8:44 am Comments (1)

Tides - Sarah Teasdale

Love in my heart was a fresh tide flowing

Where the starlike sea gulls soar;

The sun was keen and the foam was blowing

High on the rocky shore.

But now in the dusk the tide is turning,

Lower the sea gulls soar,

And the waves that rose in resistless yearning

Are broken forevermore.

Enjoy a nice peaceful weekend :))

Love xxx

Published in: on June 16, 2005 at 2:36 pm Comments (2)