So what?

I shouldn’t care, that was long ago. 

His eyes sparkeld and he merrily announced he has a “story”.  He started telling me and I drifted away (metaphorically that is), he thought am so induldged in his fariy tale.  He finished and I couldn’t fake it, I said am happy for him nothing in particular, it was like 30 awkward seconds till I started mumbling coherent words other than “interesting!”

It has been so long, and I should have seen this coming…we are all bound to fall. I am happy for him, am not jumping up and down and wishing him luck though.   Is it a relapse? is it that empty spot that he hypothetically fills whenever I need on a no strings attached manner? Is it the fact that he is not gonna be available whenever I need him? and here is the part that I so hate.. why on earth do I need him…we are not that close, we meet whenever any of us needs the other, we feel at ease together however…we like to keep our distances, we silently agreed on this rule since the revalation.

I so wanted to collapse and cry, but I remebered that “big girls don’t cry”

Published in: on October 20, 2007 at 10:26 pm  Comments (12)  

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12 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. hug..

  2. thank you sweets 🙂

  3. big girls do cry and they deserve the right to cry .. do it for like 5 minutes then stand up tall … with no looking back

  4. 😀 I actually did that last night. thank u

  5. Who said “big girls don’t cry”, big girls when they cry, they cry from heart:(
    I started to hate this winter, seems it is coming with a lot of tears.

  6. We are a special kind of creatures, we miss each other and get use to each other, when you deal with someone for some time an amount of ease and intimacy grow and we can never control its growth with times, it is normal to feel so, it is normal to feel sad, but life will go on faster than you think as usual.
    P.S. very touchy post

  7. Juka: don’t hate winter..winter is amazing..la2 la2 shili el fekra di men demaghek khales 😀

    Hechkok: you are right 😀 ma3lesh ba2a

  8. why on earth do I need him…we are not that close, we meet whenever any of us needs the other, we feel at ease together however…we like to keep our distances

    Nermeena, I belive that we are always in need for such a kind of relations.. the not so close one, but at the same time they are there when we need them and they understand. Try to keep it there..

  9. ya Moony I totally agree. However, I don’t want it khales, it is consuming

  10. well, it’s not consuming per se. the best thing about it is that it is (or should be) relaxing. The problem is it will eventually turn out to another type of friendship. the hardst point in this transformation is the moment u have just described. I can’t imagine how things will turn out. Some people were able to keep this close yet distant of friendship, others weren’t….

    P.S. Big girls DO cry!

  11. Big girls do cry… usually not in front of others. Maybe that’s why everybody thinks big girls don’t cry. But they do… alone…heartily 😦

    (a tight hug, a pat on the head and a kiss on you left cheek:))

    A fellow big girl who does cry 🙂

  12. i can easily say that, what i read above, is some big girls talk that makes me feel like a cretin.

    i never had an on-need-basis relationship, and by the looks of my present i strongly doubt the future would bring such an opportunity, but who know?

    dunno about big girls, but big men do cry, it is only the reason that matters: for what do they cry?…and this is the difference between the races of men and mice.

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