from My Violet Diary Book

31st Jan, 2009. 11:00 pm

In our family parents like to see their daughters happy in a house not in a den.

The idea of “el afas el dahaby” was never  really sensible a venture.  You would hear my mom go like “why cage?? A home is a place where you feel at ease, where you feel peaceful and comfortable not suffocated”.

A couple of years ago my dad told me “the only reason you would leave this house for another one is because you want to not because you have to”.

Bottom line, they both encourage the idea of marrying for the right reasons rather than acquiring a social status.


That being said we all know there is no such thing like the “right” reason or the “right” one.  We just acquire the one we can LIVE with and relate to; seriously.. the idea of waking up next to a total stranger is quite freaky, let alone live forever with that stranger; one has to  explore, discover, adapt, and compromise.   The women I know are mostly strong and independent for such an agreement not out of sheer arrogance but simply because they have spent a good deal of their lives using their  brains, absorbing shocks, figuring what real life is,  and challenge life back when required.


It takes them a lot of time to reconcile; they demand a motive and it gotta be a strong one for God’s sake, a woman like the one am talking about is not gonna marry neither for a social label nor to acquire a male figure to substitute “Del El 7eita”.  She needs to feel loved, appreciated and respected, she needs someone to understand she is no longer at her early twenties, that she might possess a child heart yet she is mature enough to figure how to co-lead a boat and she won’t accept being part of the backdrop.


Believe me, a single woman over thirty is constantly praying for  someone “who feels like home” to her, she merrily goes out window shopping with her friends  and the time she glances a tiny pink baby shoe her heart clinches, she cries tearlessly.  She craves a white dress, an intimate waltz, and a warm hand to wrap hers.  Yet deep inside she knows it is something that might or might not happen to her, nothing is guaranteed.  She knows that God have granted her many blessing and she counts them contentedly, she knows she might not get  this one for a reason, but she has been given hundreds in return.

Published in: on February 1, 2009 at 11:44 am  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. :), :(, 😀 and 😥

    Yes, all these expressions were drawn upon my face while reading this post! You… just… said it all. Marrying for the right reason not for the social status, the yearning for the intimate waltz, the many blessings… what can I say?! You just pinpointed it in the heart!

    Beautiful, cheering and sad ya Nerro!

  2. you will never see the sun
    if you don’t feel, you are right next to the right one

    rbna ys3dik w yorzo2ik b ibn el 7lal

  3. Salaam Alaikum,

    I haven’t really visited your blog before, insha Allah I will do so more in the future. Such a beautifully written post. May Allah answer your du’as.

  4. Mayo: “Hug” 😀
    Amr: thank you
    Safiya: thanks a lot dear. Glad to see you around 🙂

  5. oh! I like this piece very much ya Nerro .. written perfectly and I felt every word in it 🙂
    Brava Bella !

  6. Happy you did ya Dido:D
    thanks Bella

  7. First of all, congratulations on publication! I’m a writer as well, and it’s truly awesome to see such hard work in print. (I know I’m about a week late with good wishes, but I only came across your blog the other day ^_^)

    I’m a university student in America and we’ve been reading blogs from the Middle East lately, trying to see different perspectives on gender relations outside of our textbook. Outside of the family depicted, is it common for Egyptian women to marry for love? I saw that you quoted Pride and Prejudice in one of your earlier posts; do you find that the marriage plot in that book has relevance to actual marriage/courtship situations?

    – Lisa

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