Do you want a piece of me?

So at work am a total freak, a green alien with a big eye in the middle of the head (they go with green since they practically know nothing about my pink planet).  I speak life, they speak life as well yet in a totally different level.  I love my definition of life and hate their own way of living their lives, I hate the way they waste their lives. Does that make me judgmental? Maybe, yet I pity them, not all of them, just some of them. 

I pity every single person who is missing out on him/herself.  Not that ya3ni I am a super duper gal who is deeply in touch with her-own-self.  Yet, I strive to get a feel of who am I,  what life is.  A friend once told me that am approaching this issue in an erroneous way.  Ya3ni the definition of life and the way it should be lived varies from one person to another. Same like happiness keda. 

Frankly speaking, I can not relate khales, I failed to connect with any of them.  Mostly they are nice people whom their majority I don’t know and the minority are way far from where I stand.  I don’t think I can draw near them as I am not pretty much into the “hot spot” they tend to dwell around, and I currently don’t have neither the energy nor the tolerance required to tempt them out of their orbit.

On another note, it has been sooooooo long since I had this true moment of  connection with anybody. 

Juicy stuff:  ok, there is this guy who is a new joiner.  Nothing wrong about having new people at work you know, it just happens all the time.  But eih ba2a, Naroura is pulling the little mean witch inside her on the poor guy, and poor here is a figure of speech. Why is she doing keda ba2a?? Rateeba tattles “Self defense technique, mmm the girl is unconsciously resisting, you name it ba2a.  Rumor has it she is developing a crush towards the guy”.

From “Women who run with the wolves”– Clarissa Pinkola Estes

“To adjoin the instinctual nature does not mean to come undone, change everything from left to right, from black to white, to move the east to west, to act crazy or out of control. It does not mean to lose one’s primary socializations, or to become less human. It means quite the opposite. The wild nature has a vast integrity to it”

“La Loba (Wolf Woman), the old one, the One Who Knows, is within us. She thrives in the deepest soul-psyche of women, the ancient and vital Wild Woman. She describes her home as that place in time where the spirit of women and the spirit of wolf meet the place where her mind and her instincts mingle, where a woman’s deep life funds her mundane life. It is the point where the I and the Thou kiss, the place where women run with the wolves”

“To win the wildish woman’s heart, a mate would understand her natural duality through and through. Anyone close to a wildish woman is in fact in the presence of two women; an outer being and an interior criatura, one who lives in the topside world, one who lives in the world not so easily seeable. The outer being lives by the light of day and is easily observed. She is often pragmatic, acculturated, and very human. The criatura, however, often travels to the surface from far away, often appearing and then as quickly disappearing, yet always leaving behind a feeling: something surprising, original, and knowing”

“Like all other lonely or hungry things, ego loves the light. It sees light, and the possibility of being close to the soul, and it creeps up to it and steals one of its essential camouflages. In a hunger for soul, our own ego-self steals the pelt”

“Forgiveness is an act of creation. You can choose from many ways to do it. You can forgive for now, forgive till then, forgive till the next time, forgive but give no more chances it’s a whole new game if there is another incident. You can give one more chance, give several more chances, give many chances, give chances only if. You can forgive part, all, or half of the offense. You can devise a blanket of forgiveness. You decide”

Bottled Up

I’ve been alienating myself from all, even from my own-self.  The distance is getting wider.  The wider it grow the more comfortable I get, am I really comfortable!! I am keeping a content happy face, don’t want to be judged, don’t  want to spill negativity all around coz you know.. it is contagious. But I did, I gave up to the dark side of me.

 

I am angry, agitated, roasting deep inside.  I am mad at “FRIENDS”,  people I know and others I don’t. I keep blaming them for screwing my plans, parts of my own life, then  I come and relate it all to self, it is not their responsibility, it is my own responsibility, I should stand up for myself and fight for what I want.  I have neither the will nor the energy to fight.  I claim they are not the Real Deal anyway therefore not worth the effort…but after all aren’t  they destroying whatever I am constructing!!

 

I am mad at dreams and aspirations; they don’t seem to come true.  I am disappointed and at some point decided to quit dreaming and be realistic, go with the flow and see what kind of good/bad stuff real world might bring me.  Now am not being impatient, but I am closer to uncertainty.

 

I am totally losing myself, the one I used to be, the one I aspire to become…am currently an image of someone I can’t relate to (emotionally that is). I am mad at me for letting go of the once was me.

The Book Club Around the Corner

The BCATC brings members together to read and discuss a selection of titles that vary in genre (fiction & non-fiction).   The club highly promotes and values Freedom of expression.

 The purpose of this book club is to:

– Cultivate reading as a lifetime healthful habit.

– Expand the members’ personal literary experience by reading quality and diverse works.

– provide an open forum for members to exchange ideas and opinions by having monthly book discussions and networking with other literary organizations.

-On the long term- Sponsor a junior book club.

 Activities: Book Discussions:

Every month we will brainstorm a list of 5 books, and will go with the book that acquired the highest number of votes.  We can also invite the authors to answer members questions, and discuss their writing.

 Story telling events:

Will host professional story tellers and folk tales narrators.  Members may also present their own story telling events if they are willing to.

 On the spot Round-Robin gatherings:

A monthly event, in which the moderator will prepare an undisclosed theme until he/she starts the round.  The round participants then will collaborate to come out with a full story.

 Book Bazar:

Club members gather in a friendly event to sell or exchange their superfluous books.

 Online activities( could be but not limited to):

Online book discussions, book recommendations, book reviews, interesting book quotes, and announcements.

 How to Join: 

Visit the Club’s Home Page

http://groups.google.com/group/nerros-book-club