It is always around this time of the year, that I evaluate and question different things: my existence, thoughts, beliefs, and relations. For this year is an extension of last year’s success, and yes I can call it success, as I got to step out of my comfort zone-at first shaking and stumbling- and survive the dramatic change. I attained a few goals, worked on a couple of dreams…I have to admit that at some points I kinda lost hope or interest, yet some way or another I was reminded that “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”.
This year has witnessed a lot of interesting moments of acceptance and rejection, needless to say that the later were of extreme bitterness, awkwardness…I don’t know…they were just tough. That’s not to say that the high moments of acceptance were not weird, some of them were accompanied with lots of signs, gestures, and hints that I didn’t quite comprehend at the time (I am not that good with signs).
I got to realize later, that not every acceptance is unconditional, the naïve me thought so at one point. How am I cooping with this?? Not quite well to be honest, although I believe it is pretty normal, there are people/friends, and people/friends with benefits. See!! It is a very simple theory, supposedly easy to figure and get along with, but honestly I can’t deal with it, if am to be more honest, I want to completely wipe out those (people/friends with benefits) from my life.
talk about social intelligence 😉
A friend once told me it is impossible to erase someone from your life, back then I didn’t give a straight answer “as I didn’t want to freak him out”, but the truth of matter is I_am_ capable_ of_doing_this, I can erase both people and memories from my mind and life, depends on the repercussions or the damage they caused.
I mean, some I willingly keep their good memories for the sake of I may bump into them sometime/somewhere and don’t mind it. The other bunch I would bump into and don’t even recall their names. But I don’t reach this state over night, I give chances, I talk, I go the extra mile, (as nag eloquently likes to put it; give them the benefit of doubt)… Alas, at points I surrender to that slight form of amnesia.