Walking towards sunshine II

With every heartbreak, you look inside and see that little heart of yours torn into million little pieces, you swear you will never give it to anyone and will never accept anyone else’s. You try to put the pieces together, alas..you fail. The gash is too deep, and the flow of blood won’t stop.  The pain is endless that you wake up, stare at your pillow all soggy, and wonder if that emotional drain will ever come to a hush.

You – robotically-live your life, start walking around with this sort of apparently focused yet actually absent look, the sun takes notice and decides to chase you like you used to chase her… teasingly glistening on your skin, you realize that you have to play along.   You look and remember that you have missed out on the main purpose, you remember that it is not the end of the journey yet.

The sun extends those luminous hands to your chest, takes a look at the messed up organ, then turns those fractures and splinters into a window; where you can see through your soul; where you can see the hidden gifts buried under the once was smooth flawless surface.    You understand that even a heartbreak is yet another way of evolution, bitterness slightly develop into appreciation…and you murmur a “thank you” and a little prayer.   You feel loved although someone slammed a door thrashing your passion and infatuation, but you have seen others standing at the end of corridor lovingly collecting and embracing the smashed defeated bits. You are whole again.

The sun glimpses a smirk on your face, she walks with you hand in hand, steps swift and sturdy, until you gain momentum…then she runs, quickly…for you to chase her again. And you effortlessly do 😀

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To those who are frustrated, giving up, and losing interest in life

My Grandma is sick, as in really sick (in a critical condition).   Despite her pain, when she is conscious she smiles and giggles..  as usual she is keen on teaching me lessons to live with.

Refuse to fall down

If you cannot refuse to fall down

Refuse to stay down

lift your heart toward heaven like a hungry beggar

ask that it be filled and it will be filled.

You may be pushed down

You may be kept from rising

But no one can keep you from lifting your heart toward heaven-only you.

It is in the middle of misery that so much becomes clear

The one who says nothing good came of this is not yet listening

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Published in: on May 3, 2010 at 4:50 pm  Comments (12)