on Crazy Girls


I am the crazy girl who speaks her mind and heart out..realizing that I am losing because I don’t play by the rules of a world I see as mediocre.

I am the crazy girl who finds solace in ugly truth. I have been called negative because I strip the truth bare and reject unnecessary “white” lies…

I am the crazy girl who follows her heart and intuition -and the voices in her head-. I have been called cold and unfriendly because I don’t show my Gemini colors, I loathe pretenses. I value people -even those whom I don’t like- enough not to pretend they mean anything to me, or fight and bring out the maniac in me to get a firm hold of cherished ones and place them in the place I deem appropriate in my heart and life.

I am the crazy girl who feels like hurting you bad and would compromise at the thought of a hug or hearing your voice…I am the crazy girl you are struggling to accept her rawness and aloofness.

I am the crazy girl who doesn’t believe in grey areas. Black, white, and Rainbow colors define the way I approach life.

I am the crazy girl who thinks of herself as Stargirl despite the shortfalls, not because I am too vain to acknowledge them, on the contrary, I do…but I also know for sure that star people are hard to find.

Published in: on December 25, 2012 at 7:45 pm  Comments (5)  
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and she is

releasing….a sigh of relief, for she cleaned up the 2010 mess and ready with open heart and mind for 2011.

Wishing….everyone a happy new year.  faith-filled and promising tomorrow(s).

Vowing….to make (at least a little) difference, and to pick up on a childhood dream.

Cheering…enthusiastically for  Zamalek tonight ;))


Nerro, Rateeba, and Ensaf

Published in: on December 30, 2010 at 1:32 pm  Comments (2)  
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Things I might be doing wrong but won’t stop doing…

Only because I believe I am right.

– I never failed to find excuses for people in order to forgive them while they never bothered to apologize in the first place.

– I wear my heart on my sleeve, I believe that my feelings count, if not to others fa for me…I believe wearing your true-self inside out is more authentic than pretending and hiding it inside just to get to where you want to be.

– I believe that since I don’t mind taking people’s sh*t fa they might as well be tolerant and bear with my emotional diarrhea.

– I don’t mind what people think of me.

Disclaimer: that post is not meant to be as egocentric as it reads ;D

Published in: on December 21, 2010 at 12:11 pm  Comments (4)  

‪Les Petits Plaisirs de NE :D‬

3ala gherar Les Petits Plaisirs d’Amelie….She enjoys all sorts of little pleasures :D‬

‪- Sloshing in cold water after a steamy shower.‬

‪- The pleasant smell of trees and greenery after the rain.‬

‪- Taking a spoonful of a freshly cooked Molokheya (men el 7alla) while ta2leya is still crispy.‬

‪- Finding money even a coin…in her jeans pockets or coats.‬

‪- Turning on the radio…and accidentally hearing the right song that suits the constantly changing mood.‬

‪- Stumbling across people who can understand her incomplete sentences.‬

‪- A child’s giggle and elderly happily contoured face.‬

‪- An unexpected friendly gesture; from a sincere pat on a shoulder to a warm hug.‬

‪- Devouring a big sized Nutella jar and sipping coffee over a cozy chit chat on a bench across the Nile.‬

‪- The salty taste of a pickled onion after a heavenly piece of basboosa.‬

‪- The smell of freshly baked pastries in the house. Or the way the house smells on Friday.‬

‪- Walking barefoot on marble floors…the open space inside the Citadel’s (Mohamed Ali) Mosque in specific.‬

‪- Watching kittens clumsily trying to work their way through.‬

‪- Seeing a starfish‬

‪- An Adrenaline rush.‬

‪- Knowing a secret that very few or better no one else knows.‬

‪- Anagram-ing her long drives away…nothing serves perfectly as the new car plates :D‬

‪- Cuddling, watching movies, and sipping hot chocolate in a lazy cold Saturday afternoon.‬

‪- The soft velvety texture of a warda baladi‬

‪- Rinsing seasonal strawberries and inhaling the entrancing aroma.‬

‪- A gentle deep eye contact with a beloved that conveys that she is the WORLD without saying it.‬

Published in: on September 15, 2010 at 2:06 pm  Comments (7)  
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On beliefs

I believe that God is great, and he is “Merciful”, I read that in the Quran and in many a7adith, yet the yaqeen made it to my heart long time ago through experience.

I believe am neither a good person, nor a bad person but a “jumble of passions, misgivings, and wants”, and if I practiced the required amount of discipline, I can pretty much turn to the wants into a guaranteed source of contentment.

I believe that I need to stop rambling on the Facebook and start utilizing this blog to spill my heart out as I used to do.

Published in: on July 29, 2010 at 10:18 am  Comments (10)  

Walking towards sunshine II

With every heartbreak, you look inside and see that little heart of yours torn into million little pieces, you swear you will never give it to anyone and will never accept anyone else’s. You try to put the pieces together, alas..you fail. The gash is too deep, and the flow of blood won’t stop.  The pain is endless that you wake up, stare at your pillow all soggy, and wonder if that emotional drain will ever come to a hush.

You – robotically-live your life, start walking around with this sort of apparently focused yet actually absent look, the sun takes notice and decides to chase you like you used to chase her… teasingly glistening on your skin, you realize that you have to play along.   You look and remember that you have missed out on the main purpose, you remember that it is not the end of the journey yet.

The sun extends those luminous hands to your chest, takes a look at the messed up organ, then turns those fractures and splinters into a window; where you can see through your soul; where you can see the hidden gifts buried under the once was smooth flawless surface.    You understand that even a heartbreak is yet another way of evolution, bitterness slightly develop into appreciation…and you murmur a “thank you” and a little prayer.   You feel loved although someone slammed a door thrashing your passion and infatuation, but you have seen others standing at the end of corridor lovingly collecting and embracing the smashed defeated bits. You are whole again.

The sun glimpses a smirk on your face, she walks with you hand in hand, steps swift and sturdy, until you gain momentum…then she runs, quickly…for you to chase her again. And you effortlessly do 😀

A new day has come!!

Once upon a time a friend of mine told me that I don’t write except when am hurt or angry.  I argued back then eno la2 tab3an, I tend to spill my heart out whenever I feel like it…me thinks she had a point.

Zaman I used to trust writing rather than talking, then I figured la2 eno writing is a lonely act,  and although I connect in a level with a lot of people, yet I am missing the vis-à-vis human interaction…which is pretty much the essence of living (to some) not all.   I am more of a listener, but that’s not the rule, sometimes Rateeba and Ensaf –or either one- take over and I get to be the non-stop talker rather than the listener…why am I saying this right now?

I have no idea.  I just figured that it is not about Rateeba, Ensaf, or Nerro…it is about the others as well, some people make you feel comfortable from the first sight, that you can connect in an eye blink.   Others might make you feel like an alien and you are the last person they would be caught dead talking to.

It is the unspoken messages, that makes you either to talk or to resort to listening.

Quote of the day:

“People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”

setchi el 7abayeb ya 7abiba…tara ra

Mothers Day is a few days away…and the most prominent question these days is; hatgibo eih fi 3eed el 2om!! no?

yalla share your thoughts and ideas for the best present for our lovely precious Mamas.

Also, Mamas always have very special memories and stories about presents given to them by their children.  for instance; my Mama today gets fancy and nice presents, yet she cherishes the handmade cards my sister and I used to make while we were very young…she has kept every single  flawed note and card.  She never misses an opportunity to get them out of their makhba2 serry and re-read them  😀

what’s your Mama’s most cherished present?

Happy Motherss Day

Published in: on March 14, 2010 at 11:50 pm  Comments (3)  

and a Happy New Year :))

Ya rab…Happiness, Love, Wisdom, Peace of mind…to all of us 😀

Happy New year,

Nerro, Ratiba & Ensaf

Published in: on December 31, 2009 at 5:26 pm  Comments (4)  
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3andek Matbakh??

I yearn to the time where all it took to befriend someone was a simple sentence like “momken netsa7eb?” or if you wanted to raise the bar for them a bit you would go for “3andek matbakh?”

Zaman when we were young we sort of figured early on that friendship/companionship is what we need; ,we were open, clear, and specific about it.  We were able to say yes to those whom we related to and no to those whom we didn’t.  A compromise would have been “balash matbakh, tab tea set?” I mean come on…who doesn’t have a tea set!!! An imaginary tea party would serve the purpose, break the ice, and open the hearts for life, love, and inexplicable bonds that would last for years, months, days, or even a couple of hours.  Yet I dare say genuine…for the lack of misleading, delusive, hypocrite, between the lines notions make it  easy to get to know people, let alone accepting them as they are.

Today, it takes forever to get to know someone, companionship is not a popular term; it usually entails other benefits, or not… but something gotta come out of it, or this is how you presume it would entail before even initiating a contact with someone you are interested in knowing.

I know am one of those incredibly socially challenged people; but not because I don’t like people…bel3aks, I like people as is, as genuine and authentic as they are. I don’t mind their flaws…cause simply we are all flawed. And those who think people should be perfect must really think twice, cause human beings are not meant to be flawless…they are not angels.

Today I saw a seemingly interesting person that I would have loved to get to know; yet I left and the sentence “3andek matbakh?” kept on reverberating in my mind.

Published in: on December 5, 2009 at 9:01 pm  Comments (13)  

on a more positive note :D

Life has been good on my side the past few weeks bardo, I have to admit ya3ni:

– I’ve been promoted 😀  “yupppppppie”

– My bad Achilles tendon is much better, and am almolst pain free

– Am going on vacation ISA starting mid next week  “halulujah”

– I met a guy that I so wanted him to be mine, yet he could be only in my dreams.  It was the kind of thing that after the encounter I was like ““Even though this is clearly impossible, it’s amazing” :D. Moral of the story “frog princes do exist” ;))

Published in: on October 5, 2009 at 3:56 pm  Comments (12)  

The drama queen strikes back

I am neither amused, nor challenged!!!

and a tad heavy-hearted (for a reason I know), and am angry for I have seen it coming, yet being the incurably optimistic person that I am,  thought I might have a chance.

Not to mention the severe mood swings; as fun as it might be, being a Gemini is obnoxiously exhausting.


Nerro, Rateeba & Ensaf

Published in: on October 4, 2009 at 11:43 am  Comments (5)  

Shake it baby

I am at this point where I feel that I really need to turn my life upside down.   It is getting mundane and I feel soooo off track. Like I have stopped when a new year decided to unravel.

I am not whining about my life bel3aks.  El7amdolelah, am leading a very good one..am thankful and grateful for the stability that people sometimes crave for.  What I mean here is that I as a person, have not done something of an impact to anyone or myself in the past few months.  Have not improved a tad on the emotional, spiritual, and intellectual levels, have not done something that I would be really proud of (away from READ).   I unintentionally decided to resort to comfort zone, it was delightful at the beginning.  But now, I feel so…..(I don’t know the word, or maybe I know it but just don’t’ want to admit).

Am waaaaaaaaay off track, am not happy with my dormant status… and I have to do something about it.

Published in: on August 15, 2009 at 10:36 pm  Comments (10)  


Obra…Obra..Obra: or 2asr sakafet saft el laban. That’s what I can now call the once allegedly was the Cairo Opera House. (after attending a musical at the MAIN HALL).

The Cairo Tower: ewww, what’s with the flashing lights. For those who haven’t seen this yet. The tower now hideously lights up with different color schemes. (a7mar, asfar, mauve, and sometimes kolo ma3 ba3do).

Praxa: a superb musical comedy; a live proof that Egyptian extraordinary talents do exist, and they are no longer urban myths or deceased legends. The whole show (performance, music, and Scenography) was simply candy for the soul.

Published in: on August 3, 2009 at 1:15 pm  Comments (7)  
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of Weird reading habits

odd reading habits In her book Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader; Author Anne Fadiman wrote: “If you truly love a book, you should sleep with it, write in it, read aloud from it, and fill its pages with muffin crumbs..”

Although I loved the book yet, the minute I laid eyes on this particular sentence I had to disagree out loud, and called the lady a BOOK BRUISER (I usually talk to authors and characters while reading 3adi khales).

I then paused to reflect on readers behavior, and tried to compare mine to friends.  It occurred to me that people never seize to amaze you with your eccentricities while reading.  The more you watch them the more you feel compelled to write a book about their odd reading behaviors or habits.

For instance -away from talking to the characters and authors-  me being a neat reader I tend to treat books with extra care. I really really love to see them always as good as new.  My reading kit (see attached photo 😉 includes a Book, eye glasses, and highlighting flags -mind you I don’t use pens, pencils, or fluorescent highlighters-  whenever I come
across favorite lines, quotes, or paragraphs I stick one the flags on them.  Needless to say that each color is of  significance :

Pink: favorite quotes/lines
Yellow: researchable material
Orange: bloggable thoughts 😀
what about green and blue?
Am not big on them ..fa I use them as back-up

What about you!!  Do you have any other odd or intriguing reading habits to confess?

Published in: on July 6, 2009 at 11:17 pm  Comments (13)