We are who we are!

Never do the mistake of trying to define a woman who is neither willing to be defined, nor found.

Women who have long lost the sense of what should be, and what would be. Could be is our synonym for life. We either can or cannot, and it all depends on our capacity at the moment, and if we want or not.

We love what we want, the way we want. We will love you with our hearts, beyond our hearts, and a little far beyond all the way to infinity, just to make sure you are loved enough in your next lives.

But we will leave, unceremoniously, the minute you show a faint miasma of normalcy, disrespect, or discomfort. We don’t hate, we “nothing”, without any residuals other than the remains of the love that could have been all yours.

We are patriotic enough to find a lodge in the labyrinth of your Gotham, we will never mistake it for home; our hearts are stateless. Just don’t ever claim it is Eden!

We don’t have the luxury of leaning on a little, we have learned that we only have our own backbone, and it is the only thing that we can rely on. We ‘ve learned how to keep it flexible; the harder the thing the more prone it is to break. We cannot afford being broken, at all levels.

We know a little more than what you know, and we stand small in front of what’s big in awe. We do the ugly crying till we heartily giggle. We are all the alleged complexities, as well as the contradictions that you hate and adore.

If anything, when you stop loving. Don’t hate or judge, don’t try to define, or find us again. Accept what you saw, and smile back for the rainbow that passed by.

Published in: on October 9, 2015 at 12:20 am  Comments (3)  

2014 Epiphanies

“I’m a free spirit who never had the balls to be free.”

In pursuit of my passion for only one person, I lost the world..I have been revolving around the center of my heart barely touching base with the world and alienating almost everyone, that my phone now barely rings.

I have lost and won fairly.

Published in: on December 27, 2014 at 7:40 pm  Comments (2)  

The Forty Rules of Life

Disclaimer: this post will be updated every now and then, there are a lot of rules that I will get to discover along the way.

1- Never forget that your significantly insignificant. In case you forgot, watch the sunset or sunrise..or sit by the see.

2- There is no such thing like model answer for your life/existential questions. You are unique like everyone else, you mould your life and strive to find the answers. There is a point those questions play hard to get..yes for you to learn something new, and stumble in another unanswered question.

3- You are not a tree…MOVE.

4- When your life comes to a dead end, you gotta take extreme measures to unknot the end as long as you are not-yet-dead #The40RulesOfLife

5- The thing no one will ever admit is that life is easier for the phony/mean & unkind, exhausting for the genuine -choose #The40RulesOfLife

6- a no brainer – what goes around comes around -believe me it does

7- Don’t succumb to energy vampires, or emotional blackmailers, they will suck the life out of you and leave you gasping for a breath.

8- If you are not comfortable about something then it is fishy. Your intuition is 70% your life sensor.

9- Develop a higher threshold for discomfort -this is where the magic happens – AVOID pain.

10- Find yourself a breather/ an escapade from everyday tension

11- Accept and open your heart just be cautious, whoever wants in Namaste..whoever wants out Double Namaste.

12- Like yoga teachers say..keep you head over your heart.

13- Forgive, but don’t until you are in the powerful side العفو عند المقدرة

14- For provocative and non fruitful arguments; smile, nod, and wave.

15- Blame those who have wronged you, just don’t forget who have set the bar!

16- Grieve gracefully like a woman not like a child (you lose or add to your loss in the later).

17- Travel (this is where you get to know yourself real well)

18- Don’t be afraid of discovering the corners of your soul, the process could be uneasy but magnificent

19- You may not be here tomorrow, so stop worrying. It is easier said than done (but use the thought as a reminder).

20- Wrinkle up, laugh lines are adorable

21- Walk the world with bare feet and open heart.

22- “Think of your most firmly-held belief. Now accept that somewhere in the world, someone believes the exact opposite with the same passion.”

23- Don’t allow others to reduce your valuable.
40- Don’t follow the above rules, these are only mine, and each get to discover his/her rules 🙂

Published in: on September 30, 2014 at 10:17 am  Leave a Comment  

البنات دول

عارفين البنات دول، البنات اللي هما لا حلوين ولا وحشين، النوعية اللي متشدكش أول ما تشوفها وتتعامل معاها كأنها هوا بس تتحب لما تتعرف بجد عشان جميلة من جواها وجدعة وشخصية كدة!

البنات دول اللي لا هما AUCians ولا مؤهلات متوسطة اللي أهلهم علموهم “كويس” عشان يعرفوا يعيشوا بعدين خلصوا الجامعة واترموا في البحر ومكانش قدامهم غير انهم يعوموا عشان الغرق مش خيار متاح.

البنات دول اللي لا هم بيعرفوا ينموا علي حد ولا لهم في elle و vogue فيبقوا متعلم عليهم من الشلل في الشغل أو أي مجتمع يحاولوا يدخلوه، البنات دول بيفرحوا أن في تقييمهم السنوي بيتقال عليهم انهم شخصيات جديرة بالأحترام والثقة، بس ممكن يكونوا أحق بترقية بيشوفوها بتروح قدامهم عشان هم مش من “الشلة”.

البنات دول بيشيلوا هم كتير وبيضحكوا ويضّحكوا عشان ينسوا ويتعاملوا مع ميراث ملهمش ذنب فيه بس بيشيلوه عشان يريحوا أم مطلقة ضحت عشان تكبر في أحسن حال تقدر عليه، أب أرمل وحيد مش شايف ومعندوش غيرهم، أو حتي فراغ اتساب بفقد المفروض يملوه لوحدهم. بس بيضحكوا عشان هي دي “الحياة”.

البنات دول معندهمش مال كتير ولا جمال يخليهم “عروسة لقطة” بس هم بيبقوا أكتر ناس عندهم استعداد وفهم لفكرة “العيلة” ونفسهم في “العيلة” اللي يعملوها بطريقتهم مش بطريقة حد ولا مجتمع مفروض عليهم، بس محدش بيشوفهم واللي بيشوفهم بيتعامل معاهم علي انهم پورسلين فرز تاني.

البنات دول عارفين انهم بيحبوا وبيحبوا مين وليه، بيحترموا مشاعرهم وبيصرحوا بيها عشان عارفين -شايفين- انها غالية بس مشاعرهم دي عشان واضحة ومتاحة بتترمي في أقرب صفيحة زبالة.

البنات دول بيموتوا بدري، من كل الوجع اللي اتكوّم علي قلوبهم، والناس بيزعلوا عليهم وبيقولوا انهم كانوا جمال وطيبين وملايكة مش بتوع دنيا. وان الطيبين بس هو اللي ربنا بيختارهم…بيتمنوا لو يوم يرجع عشان يحضنوهم أو يطيبوا خاطرهم…بس للأسف بيبقي متأخر.

البنات دول حضن وطبطبة وكلمة طيبة يعيشوهم.

Published in: on August 13, 2014 at 11:01 pm  Comments (4)  

Is Sufism IN?


It hit me during this Ramadan night, I was browsing twitter when I found people sharing El Halaj poetry tagging it #الخواجة_عبد_القادر , I was like people but this is Kazem ElSaher, chanting El Halaj’s poetry, there are no Abdel Kaders here, let alone khawaga. I then realized that it is an Egyptian series that tackles a love story, I started watching it and connecting the increased admiration and association with the Sufi streak being demonstrated throughout the main tagline *ربنا يدوق عينيك رؤية حبيبك*

Although the hardcore Sufi Community is not new to Egypt and has been deeply rooted throughout the years, yet the embracement of Sufism and spirituality has been on the rise for a while, and I can safely say it is “in”.

I have been a goer to zikr and sufi chanting circles since 2005/2006 and I can tell you, I haven’t seen that number of attendees and embracers like the past few months, people recite the chants, know the moves, wash up in appreciation of the collective energy and serenity.
You can hear Zein Mahmoud, El Touni and, Yassin El Tohamy in a friend’s car, or recurrently see the name in a music list. Halaj, Rab3a El 3adaweya, Rumi, and Ibn El Fared are being quoted during casual discussions! And the next thing you see is chanting circles and even Mouled El Hussein have Facebook events.

As superficial as this may sound; it strips the hardcore of Sufism to soft-core spirituality – and of course as many would say it is just the “hip”- yet I find it a counter reflection to the current humongous negative vibe instigated by the radicalism of the Islamic current or to be more precise high pitch.

In history, Sufism has risen in many countries like Pakistan or Iran to defy radicalism and intolerance. No one can deny that over the past few years “Religion” has been the visible façade for everything oppressive, turbulent and vandalistic , that the only logical counterweight was turning towards the peaceful, mystical, and “existential unity of being and vision”.

As baffled and bewildered, I popped the question on Twitter; Is Sufism in?

Ola Abbady (@OlaAbbady) said: “I had a book -referring toبحار الحب عند الصوفية – that related the rise of Sufism to the loss of faith in times of turmoil, in religious figures. For some it is either atheism, or Sufism.”

Nermeen Refai (@Nerminism) who has recently started delving into Sufism, she said “I find myself in there, in Sufi love, a book, a poem, a chant, a dervish’s journey. It is fascinating, Sufism explain God through love and how you get lost in longing words let it be meant for God or the beloved”

In his book بحار الحب عند الصوفية., Ahmed Bahgat simply stated that Sufis are those whose hearts have been polished “الصوفية هم الذين صفت قلوبهم”. Although the statement capsulate the heart of Sufism and reflects the universal and simple define, yet the Sufi Order is much complicated and gradual in terms of connectionوصل

Whether the increased appreciation and endorsement of Sufism and Spirituality is because it is “in” or a social defense mechanism in defiance to the community hyper-aggression, and unavoidable mind and body crashing stress levels, I would say let it be. It is a good cholesterol, quite needed and encouraged. Like Mawlana Jalaludin Rumi Said:
Come, Come, whoever you are.
Worshiper, wander, lover of leaving; ours is not a caravan of despair

Published in: on April 18, 2013 at 9:55 pm  Comments (3)  
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on Crazy Girls


I am the crazy girl who speaks her mind and heart out..realizing that I am losing because I don’t play by the rules of a world I see as mediocre.

I am the crazy girl who finds solace in ugly truth. I have been called negative because I strip the truth bare and reject unnecessary “white” lies…

I am the crazy girl who follows her heart and intuition -and the voices in her head-. I have been called cold and unfriendly because I don’t show my Gemini colors, I loathe pretenses. I value people -even those whom I don’t like- enough not to pretend they mean anything to me, or fight and bring out the maniac in me to get a firm hold of cherished ones and place them in the place I deem appropriate in my heart and life.

I am the crazy girl who feels like hurting you bad and would compromise at the thought of a hug or hearing your voice…I am the crazy girl you are struggling to accept her rawness and aloofness.

I am the crazy girl who doesn’t believe in grey areas. Black, white, and Rainbow colors define the way I approach life.

I am the crazy girl who thinks of herself as Stargirl despite the shortfalls, not because I am too vain to acknowledge them, on the contrary, I do…but I also know for sure that star people are hard to find.

Published in: on December 25, 2012 at 7:45 pm  Comments (5)  
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On Peeing Statues and Kafka

Nothing could set a better introductory to the -well- perfectly Kafkaesque setting of Franz Kafka’s Museum in Prague as David Cerny’s “Piss/Pee” Statue.


What on earth could be more welcoming than a couple of men pissing on a Czech Republic shaped pool!!

On his take on Art, Cerny says:
“Provocation is the amplified…uh…amplified reason why the art exists. What’s supposed to be called ‘art’ and not design has to have something behind. Has to have some message, whatever. Of course, it can have a static message. But it has to have a message, it’s not a ‘chair’.”

Well, you don’t have to agree or disagree with Cerny’s point of view..yet it is a fact that his works are remarkable.

The above statue draws lots and lots of tourists -not for the erotic notion I hope- around the Kafka’s morbid museum, even those who are not visiting the museum itself.

On a quick note: am totally prejudiced. Never liked Franz Kafka, and after visiting his museum I realized it is because he is the sole creator of his dilemma.
His “existential circle” could have been wider & less tragic but he inflicted much agony on his life for the sake of “literature” I suppose.

Published in: on September 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm  Leave a Comment  
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*ولسة جوا القلب غصة..

مع  كل نكتة، أو خبر حلو أو سجدة بتتمني انها تتمحي ويرجع قلبك بيضحك من جوة. الضحكة اللي في اخرها وجع بطن مش وجع زور مخنوق ودموع محبوسة.  مبقيناش بنعرف نضحك من جوة. كل واحد فيه اللي مكفيه، وكلنا بنلف وندور ونتحايل عالدنيا تضحك لنا –ضحكة حلوة مش صفرا- هي كمان. 

العنوان مقتبس من ديدو

Published in: on July 17, 2012 at 1:33 pm  Leave a Comment  

جريمة علي كوبري ستة أكتوبر

في جريمة قتل عمد بتحصل كل يوم وكل ساعة. من كام شهر بدأت عمليات اصلاح وصيانة أعلي كوبري ستة أكتوبر. بعد ما خلصت المرحلة الأولي، ابتدت مرحلة تانية من العك الرهيب..منتهي العشوائية وعدم المهنية.

الفواصل الأسمنية بين الاتجاهين مش موجودة اصلاً أعلي منطقة رمسيس .
من كام اسبوع كان في عربية بتتحرق علي الكوبري وكان الاتجاه ده مقفول طبعاً…فعزيزي سائق المركبة قرر انه لازم يمشي ويتفادي الزحمة..وبما انه مفيش فواصل بين الاتجاهات فسو وااات..نمشي في الاتجاه المعاكس..وبدل ما تبقي عربية واحدة مولعة نزود عربيتين تلاتة داخلين في بعض!!!

الجميل انه في الاماكن اللي لسة فيها فواصل..يا اما بتبقي حبال متصلة بعواميد حديد صغيرة او شكارة اسمنت..او حجارة مكسرة.

السيد الاستشاري المسئول عن صيانة كوبري أكتوبر انت لازم تتحاكم علي اسوأ مقاولة اتعملت في التاريخ غالباً…وطبعاً لو حد اتأذي أو مات ذنبه في رقبتك…عبوكو يا أخي


Published in: on July 3, 2012 at 11:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

An angry letter to Egypt’s Political Activists

Dare I say that I consider the rise of Egyptian Political Activists one of the revolution’s downsides?  I would actually take my exclamation to the next level and consider it a counter revolution movement to be perfectly honest.

Let me start the love letter off with a disclaimer. This is by no means a directed criticism, it is an angry post from an Egyptian citizen who has been trying to see Egyptian Activists (some of them are friends) playing an integral role in transforming the country, and helping –not only encouraging- others to take part.

Alas, away from very few who have been around for a few years now and were around for the support since the eruption of the revolution, activists were genuinely competing in hurling to the focus points particularly the crazed international and local media .  It is pretty sad to see that those who have been trusted and followed in most cases mislead thousands and thousands.

Fighting the windmills, twisting facts (which in cases was for raising the morale), promoting small victories that might at core be considered actual losses, and lack of foresight.

Let me tell you of a firsthand account; One day during a blogging conference that was held outside the country, one famous activist wasn’t sure if he should support the students protests or not, another leading activist and blogger encouraged him saying do it “wesh”…not knowing (what, where, why, or how).  Allak “wesh”..we do things for the sake of doing them? or because we need/have to do them?

I laugh out loud whenever I see a post from a “political activist” rallying for something “abusing” the martyrs and injured!!! Where have you been last year when you didn’t even tweet an initiative to help them as you were busy campaigning for a huge -commercially driven- charity campaign? Did you try to visit any…look me in the eye and say yes!!!

Dear famous activist the utter truth is while you were busy posing and posting about the consecutive interviews others were roaming different paths trying to console numerous unknown families who never took the streets but were in dire need for support, moral if not financial in most cases.

While you had nothing in mind beyond your “E-Sabooba”, some took on themselves the effort and risk to unravel the secrets of the WWW to Egyptians living in the outskirts.

While building a rapport with the media living inside your own bubble, erecting a façade around you adorned with arrogance and foul language..you did lose your people.
Get out of the bubble, realize that an actvisit’s place is neither inside a studio nor a cafe, his job is not to update the others with shows and speeches times.  If you decided to take the role of an activist..focus, pick your fight..and believe that your actions will speak louder than your words.

“HELPED are those who find the courage to do at least one small thing each day to help the existence of another–plant, animal, river, or human being. They shall be joined by a multitude of the timid”  ~ Alice Walker

Published in: on June 26, 2012 at 1:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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On a positive note; Egy Women Rock!


While we are being engulfed by the presidential elections grey tornado…two young Egyptian women were busy making history during the British Open Squash Championship 2012.
Nour El Sherbini beats her fellow Egyptian Raneem El Weleily to become the youngest-ever British Open women’s finalist.

فيها حاجة حلوة!!!!

Published in: on May 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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365 pp moving to tumblr

Just to let you know that I am moving the -incredibly slow- 365 pp to my tumblr. http://nermeena.tumblr.com/



Published in: on April 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

10/365 Capable


Hiking along Whales Valley on crutches.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them”

Published in: on April 4, 2012 at 4:50 pm  Leave a Comment  

9/365 on Impressions :D


Published in: on March 25, 2012 at 11:25 am  Leave a Comment  
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8/365 My Happy Desktop :D


“الضحك قال يا سم عالتكشير”

Published in: on March 15, 2012 at 2:22 pm  Leave a Comment